Tuesday, 1 September 2009

Compare the idiots

Picture this… you work for the advertising department for the insurance website, Compare The Market.

One morning you find yourself sat in the bosses office and your been given an ear bashing about the website not pulling enough hits, its either, get the numbers up… or get a new job!

You spend the morning, sat at a table, sheets of paper everywhere, laptops churning and the whiteboard is crammed with meaningless drivel… nothing is making sense!

Lets break for lunch…

Amongst sandwiches and cups of tea, a conversation stirs… “Hey… did you see that documentary on the telly last night about Meerkats?”

Everyone coo’s and aah’s about their apparent cuteness and how funny they are, then the joker pipes up.. “Hey, could almost be like us… only… Compare The Meerkat!”

The table falls silent… then everyone leaps to their feet and dashes back to the conference room! A flurry of activity! Meerkats! Selling insurance! Its genius! Give him a French accent! That'll be funny! Nahhhh…… Greek? No… Russian… sort of? YES! That's it! Eastern block sort of sounding critter? YES…!

The final draught is produced… the boss looks at the advertising team over his spectacles… with a sigh… “If this flops… I'm having your guts for garters!”

A few months later… Compare The Market has an 80% increase in Internet traffic!

I’m not here ranting about this… this is pure, and utter, genius!

Who are the most malleable people on the planet? Idiots…

What type of people like silly gimmicks? Idiots…

What type of people are likely to use the internet for associated rubbish, instead of using it for useful stuff like insurance? Idiots!!!!

Seriously… go on to Facebook if you use it, i guarantee, EVERYONE will have at least 1 maybe 2 people out of 100 that constantly spout the catchphrases of one Aleksandr Orlov, usually the stereotypically backward, “Simples!”

Idiots go on the Internet, have a jolly old laugh at the mock up Compare The Meerkat website, followed by clicking one of the links that takes them to the main website, where they just “try it out”… ooh that's a good deal!

To top it off Aleksandr Orlov has a reported 500,000 “fans” on Facebook, and even worse, a supposed 22,000 “follow” him on Twitter. There is also a toy coming out for Christmas!

Hats off to the CTM advertising crew… seriously… hats off!

As for the brain-dead, idiotic Muppet's that ALWAYS fall for this stuff! Your doing an excellent job at making some people very rich!

So… to conclude Part 1 of my Business Management Skills course… to make the big £££’s reel in the numbnuts with a cheap, annoying gimmick! PROFIT!

Source for figures, The Telegraph (shudder…)


1 comment:

  1. Using meerkats for car insurance is almost as idiotic as using a clown to sell beef burgers (macdonalds).